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Thursday, January 18, 2007


Ok guys. I know that normally I talk about entertainment, fashion and all the details of my crazy life. But today - I really need to vent. Is that okay with you all?

Today is one of those days where I just want to cry. Why does it seem like my life is getting nowhere fast? Or am I just being impatient? As all of you know my dream is to become an internationally known Fashion & Beauty Publicist. I have all these great marketing and publicity ideas and I am too scared to tell anyone about them because I am not very trusting. Let me take that back - I am trusting, but because I have been burned in the past with telling people my ideas, I want to keep everything to myself.
If you are reading my blog, more than likely you are a career-oriented person who wants to achieve whatever goals you have in life. I am the same way, and I am not going to lie - sometimes I feel like I am never going to get there. Last night I stayed up late crying like a big baby, because I am so overwhelmed trying to build 2 businesses on my own, while working a full time job and volunteering at different events to get exposure. This is some bull-ish. I went to college, I got my degree in Communications and minored in Marketing. Not to mention, I had 2 internships - The first as a Marketing Intern at a local hip-hop radio station here in Columbus and an internship in Communications at an insurance agency. After that I completed PR apprenticeship training with a PR agency here in Columbus. In addition to that, I know I have spent well over $500 in membership dues with PR Professional associations. When does this madness end?

It’s not fair - if I got a degree and some experience - that should be it. Nothing further. I should be able to graduate and get a job and not have to go through all this extra crap. Unfortunately, that is not the way of the world.

My other issue is that my heart really wants to build these businesses. I know that I cannot do it on my own. This is just too much work for a person that works full time and volunteers at every event you can imagine. My friends get mad at me because I don't spend any time with them, they think I am playing them off and really I'm not. It just feels like I am alone in this world. Just me, my drive, my passion and my ideas. Don't get me wrong - people come to me all the time and say I want to be apart of your business, I love fashion and beauty so I want to help. You let them in on what your aspirations are and then they don't do their part of the job and become lazy. It makes me think of the quote - there is no "I" in team. Bull-ish, because "I" am the only one on my "team" that has a passion that is so deep, that it’s all that I think about. Every day and every night. All I do is dream. I am started to think being a professional dreamer is my career. Sometimes I feel like I am standing here alone not moving anywhere in a place where everyone is moving up except me. When is my turn? Dear Lord, please help me - my elevator is stuck.

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